We meet Yelena as she is about to go to her execution for killing a general's son. The Comander's poison taster (this is a kingdom controlled by the military) has recently died, and as per the Code of Conduct, the position must be offered to those facing execution (I guess since no one but someone already facing their death would be crazy enough to take the job). Yelena accepts, and finds herself in a position where her life is threatened every bit as much as before.
This novel suffers from an identity crisis. Since the characters are in a castle and there's no electricity, I would think the setting is going for middle ages (and the cover helps with that). There's also mention of period appropriate clothing. But there are modern influences that pop up that shouldn't. For one, not even the most prestigious castle would have running hot water. Technology would not be advanced enough for switchblades or trampolines. I'm not sure "disinfectant" would have been a word. "Military district" would not have been shorted to "MD" in conversation or conscious thought. Yelena wouldn't bathe everyday. And even though this is a fantasy kingdom with it's own customs, animals, people, and countries, coffee somehow exists. This book doesn't know if it wants to be medieval, it's own fantasy realm, or modern.
There's some not so well constructed story elements. Yelena is given a poison that she needs a daily antidote to for the rest of her life or she'll die. I might be willing to believe Yelena doesn't realize poisons don't work like that, but you're telling me no one out of the multiple people Yelena goes to for help don't know poisons don't work like that? There's no possible way Valek could have switched out a poisoned bottle of wine with a clean one. He'd have to have the second bottle close by, for one. And since the wine is from a country they don't import with, it'd be impossible. And there's no way a master chief wouldn't have thought of roasting some mystery beans to change their flavor, especially not when Yelena asked if they were coffee beans, which he's been craving for years.
Transitions are severely lacking between paragraphs. For example: In one sentence Yelena is talking with Lisa, then paragraph break and Yelena is with the Camander. Yes, I know Yelena was on her way to the Camander and she caught Lisa on the way there. I can figure that out, but you need to tell me that Yelena moved from Lisa's side and continued on her way so I don't sit there and go "wait-wha?" in the moment. This kind of thing happens throughout the book.
The author needs to give more description in certain instances. At one point Yelena gets out a grappling hook and "climbs through the trees." How? How is this working with the grappling hook? How is she moving from tree to tree? You need to describe it to me. When Yelena and the love interest finally kiss, it's glossed over so quickly, the meaning that's supposed to be attached to it went right over my head. More description was needed here and in other places.
Yes, this novel has issues. It makes me sad to think these are all things a good editor could have caught and worked with the author to correct. When you look at it all written up, the damage would seem pretty major. Yet, I've always said that if a story is good, I can overlook almost any other issues. And this book proves to follow that rule. Despite everything, I got caught up in the story. I couldn't put the book down. And when I finished with it, I immediately wanted the next one.
No comments:
Post a Comment